Check out this article by Wondermind, Selena Gomez’s new mental health website, where I share some thoughts and tips on how to deal with triggering and unwanted food talk over the holiday season!
Over-exercise amidst the COVID-19 Pandemic
“Because over-exercise is embraced by society, it oftentimes goes undetected as a trauma-response thereby further enabling the compulsion.”
Check out this article in SHAPE Magazine where I speak on this incredibly important topic. If you or someone you know is struggling, help is available.
https://www.shape.com/fitness/tips/covid-19-pandemic-exercise-obsession
When Does Healthy Eating Go Too Far?
Eating healthy is highly emphasized by many groups in our culture but when does it go from “being healthy” to a full blown eating disorder? As a health professional specializing in eating disorders, I’m often asked “What is Orthorexia?” Orthorexia Nervosa is characterized by an obsession with proper or ‘healthful’ eating and a drive to attain the “perfect diet.” Orthorexia can easily go unnoticed because it does not seem abnormal to appear “obsessed” with healthy eating in today’s culture when influencers on social media are promoting extreme “clean eating” and new diet trends left and right.
If you shape nutrition advice into unbreakable rules and your fixation on healthy eating begins to damage your own well-being, it’s important that you seek out professional help as soon as possible.
Thank you to WNYW Fox5 News in NYC for asking me to speak on this very important topic!
“There’s a lot of people hiding [disordered eating] behind wellness trends.”
To learn more about this important topic check out this informative article: https://time.com/5756757/orthorexia-clean-eating/
The Importance of Self-Care for Caregivers
Whether you are a parent, partner, or other support - helping to care for someone with an eating disorder is difficult. Watching someone you love struggle with these life-threatening illnesses can be heart-wrenching, frustrating, scary, and down-right traumatic for caregivers. In fact, research shows that it is more difficult to have a loved with an with an eating disorder than it is to have a loved one with schizophrenia or depression alone.
If you are caring for someone with an eating disorder, you may feel as though you have no one to turn to who can truly understand what you are going through. You try to remain positive, but anxiety and fear likely consumes you at times. No eating disorder is the quite the same, therefore, no caregiver’s experience is quite the same; however, one thing is for certain - as a caregiver you need to take time for yourself.
The holiday season into the New Year is a particularly challenging time for those with eating disorders; therefore, it is a particularly challenging time for caregivers as well. Not unlike many other professionals working directly with eating disorders, I previously wrote about ways to increase self-care during the holiday season for the sufferer themselves. The needs caregivers are oftentimes overlooked, as they so often put their own needs on the backburner to care for their loved one. I want to take some time to acknowledge the increased struggle for caregivers during this time and discuss the importance of self-care for them as well.
“Self-care is not selfish. You cannot serve from an empty vessel. ”
Lessen your Responsibilities
Remind yourself that it’s okay to say NO. Caring for someone with an eating disorder can feel like a full-time job within itself. That old saying of “put your oxygen mask on first” is clique but true. The holidays are usually associated with increased responsibilities and pressures. Now is not the time to bring on added expectations or requests from loved ones. Others in your life may fail to understand the mental and emotional exhaustion that comes along side caring for someone with an eating disorder. Caregiver burnout is real. Be realistic about what you can handle and turn down anything that does not fit. Don’t feel like you have to say yes to every invitation or request. It’s entirely acceptable to decline if you are reaching your limit. Along with this, remember that it is okay to ask for help. A key element of self-care in general is knowing when to reach out to supportive family members and friends for help. This could be as simple as allowing a friend to cook a meal for you. Forcing yourself to take on everything alone is a way to ensure caregiver burnout.
Don’t be so hard on yourself
You may feel as though you are constantly walking on eggshells and no matter what you say, it is the wrong thing. It’s important to remember that mistakes will be made and it’s even more important to remember that it is okay to make mistakes and to not have all of the answers. A matter of fact, it is impossible to have all of the answers. Something I am constantly reminding my clients when discussing how others can support them is that loved ones and caregivers do not have that “eating disorder voice” and mindset in their brains 24/7 as they do. Therefore, what may seem like an obviously triggering thing to say is most likely not so obvious to those without an eating disorder. Have patience with yourself and remember that recovery is typically not linear. There will be many ups and downs. Celebrate the successes and acknowledge the set-backs, but do not get stuck in them or beat yourself up for missing a sign or ruminating on how it could have been prevented.
*Tip- Here’s a useful list of caregiver do’s and don’ts for some increased support
Don’t Blame Yourself:
“Is the eating disorder my fault?” This is the most common question I hear from loved ones. Many caregivers have an intense guilt stemming from a belief that they caused the eating disorder. The answer to this question is an echoing “no!” Eating disorders develop from a combination of factors, which is typically referred to as bio-psycho-social. Eating disorders are hereditary. Research has found that genetics are responsible for up to 50% of the risk of developing an eating disorder. Eating disorders are also rooted in psychology. So, many of the psychological groundworks of an eating disorder relate to personality traits of the individual in addition to maladaptive patterns of thought that can develop from a variety of factors such as perfectionism, anxiousness, and harm avoidance to name a few. Sociocultural messages also influence the development of eating disorders. This can include the societal “thin ideal,” social media, diet trends, and so on. In explaining all of this to caregivers, I often times share that “genetics set the tone and environment pulls the trigger.” So, families and caregivers do not cause eating disorders, but they do play a very important role in treatment and recovery.
Do Things for You
Chances are that people keep telling you to “take care of yourself.” You may be feeling annoyed by this and it could be increasing your sense of isolation and cause you to feel as though no one really understands. I get it! But trust me, as annoying as it is to hear this and as impossible as it seems to even think about doing something for yourself, it’s vital. You need to keep yourself sane and healthy to be of any use to anyone else, including your loved one with an eating disorder. Engaging in self-care during these times is self-less, not selfish. One study found that more than half of eating disorder caregivers had diagnosable anxiety and nearly a third had depression. Self-care can be as simple as taking walks, getting a massage, meeting a friend for coffee, going to a yoga class, or going to the movies. This will keep you feeling renewed and more equipped and energized to support your loved one in the hardest of times. Here is a helpful list of 10 self-care tips from the National Eating Disorders Association.
If you are a caregiver to someone with an eating disorder you have been doing an incredibly difficult job of being present for your loved one and facing the pain that eating disorders bring to those affected by them. An important thing to think about is seeking out therapy or support groups for yourself.
Resources:
https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/
How To Cultivate Body Positivity This Holiday Season
For many people, the holidays can be tough. It goes without saying that they’re even tougher if you are someone who struggles with an eating disorder and body image issues. Check out this article I wrote describing ways to combat mixed messages and cultivate body positivity this holiday season.
https://themighty.com/2019/11/cultivate-body-positivity-during-holidays/
“You have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.””